Some of my sweetest childhood memories are of going to church with my family. Good seeds were planted in me at church and at home. Everything I learned about Jesus was positive; I mean, He died on the cross for us, and if we believed in Him we would go to heaven! He sounded awesome to me.

At church I recited the Lord’s Prayer, the Apostle’s Creed and the Doxology.  By rote I said, “God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for our food,” before meals, but I didn’t pray to God on my own…in my own words. Beautiful songs about God touched my heart, but I didn’t sing to Him. I regarded Him as an amazing super hero that I read about and heard about. I was surrounded by people who loved Jesus, but I simply didn’t know the Lord personally yet. I knew about Him, but I didn’t know Him. No one could do it for me…it had to be between me and Him.

In my teen years, I developed quite a wild streak: partying and dating guys who were bad news. For instance, when I was only 14 years old,  the police had to call my parents to come and get me from a party that was laden with drugs, alcohol and thugs in their 20’s and 30’s. I was hell bent on winning the attention of the opposite sex and always went for the “bad boys.”  I regularly lied about where I was going and who I was going to be with. If I was grounded, I would sneak out!  I got into a lot of trouble and hurt my parents; unfortunately that didn’t stop me from continuing down the wrong path. The good seeds planted in me were still there, but I chose to ignore their existence. When I didn’t know the Lord personally, I was searching for fulfillment in all the wrong things!

At 19 years old, I began my career of singing and dancing in shows, and then reached a lifelong dream of becoming a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. During this time I met my future husband to be, Jerod. He was wild too so we became quite the pair! Jerod let me know straightaway that he was nowhere near ready to make a commitment. However, I knew in my heart that he was different. I could picture us getting married someday, but I wasn’t about to let him know that!

A few months after Jerod and I started dating, I went on a USO tour with the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. I ended up becoming seriously ill.  My white blood cell count was dangerously high and doctors were saying “appendicitis.”  I was taken by emergency care flight to Ramstein Air Force Base in Germany from Budapest, Hungary. I’ll never forget how wretchedly sick I was, and how scared I felt…thousands of miles away from anyone I knew.  

The doctors did multiple tests, but could not determine why I was so sick. I have no doubt that my family’s prayers back in Texas were answered.

I began to get remarkably better within the week. A Chaplain came into my hospital room and I immediately started crying; I felt so lost, scared and alone. He said, “Don’t be afraid, God is with you.”  When he prayed over me, I felt a peace come over me like I had never felt before.

While in the hospital…in a foreign country…away from any family or friends…I had a lot of time to think. I wrote down what I really wanted in life:

1) to know and serve God and

2) to marry Jerod.

Would you believe it? Jerod proposed shortly after I arrived home!  It took all of that nonsense for him to come to his senses! But seriously, God was moving both of our hearts.

I would like to say our marriage was instantly successful, but truthfully it was rocky. We were still living for ourselves. We went to marriage counseling, but we couldn’t make much progress without Jesus being in charge! Many times we wanted out, but I can see now that God placed key people along every step of our journey to encourage us. One such encourager invited us to Woodland Hills Family Church. We loved it! We were like sponges soaking up the Lord’s living water. It was an exciting time of learning how to communicate with God through prayer, worship and studying His word.

And then we had our first baby. The huge responsibility and stress a baby brings…and the intense love…caused everything to come to a head. Jerod and I were ready to completely surrender our whole life to Jesus. No matter how hard we tried to remain in control, we continually failed. We knew that we could not be the parents and spouses we truly desired to be without Jesus at the wheel. We were finally all in! Our pastor, Ted Cunningham, baptized us together; we wanted the world to know “Jesus is our Lord and Savior!” I remember coming up out of the water feeling FREE!

 

Here’s my favorite thing about Jesus: no matter what we have done, where we have been or how many times we have rejected Him, His mercy is enough! His love conquers all! He heals our broken hearts and binds up our wounds! He does not give up on us!

Since then our lives have changed so much! Of course, we are far from perfect and don’t have it all together by any means  (understatement of the year)! Our family has endured tragedies and victories along the way, but God has strengthened us with the same power that resurrected Jesus! The way we live our life now as opposed to then is as different as night and day. Before, we might have tried to fit God into our lives, but now He is our life. Jesus is my best friend.  I talk to Him about everything, and He helps me with everything. He is my peace, my hope, my joy…and He changes the way I see, hear and act. The best way I can describe it is this: 

Before I knew Jesus, I heard His song and I thought it was beautiful. Now, I know His song was written to me! 

 We can draw close to Him, and He will draw close to us (James 4:8). He loves us so much, and longs to fill our hearts with hope and love and peace.  If you don’t know Him yet, and you are longing to know love like I’m describing and the peace of knowing who you are in Him, and you want to know where you will spend eternity, please pray this prayer with all of your heart:

God, I know that, in my lifetime, I have not always lived for you, and I have sinned.  I know that you have plans for me, and I want to live in those plans. I pray to you for forgiveness for the ways in which I have sinned.

I am choosing now to accept you, Jesus, into my heart. I am eternally grateful for your sacrifice on the cross and how you died so I can have eternal life. I pray that I will be filled with the Holy Spirit and that I continue to live as you desire for me to live. I will strive to overcome temptations and no longer let sin control me. I put myself–my life and my future–in your hands. I pray that you work in my life and guide my steps so that I continue to live for you for the rest of this life.

In your name, I pray. Amen

 

  I will be forever grateful for what He has done for me! He pursued me, embraced me, redeemed me and gave me a new song!! To Him be all the glory!

 

Full Circle: My Mother and me playing and singing “Blessed Assurance,” one of my favorite hymns from childhood.

 

 

“Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine.

Oh What a Foretaste of Glory Divine.

Heir of Salvation, Purchase of God,

Born of His Spirit, Washed in His Blood!

Oh This Is My Story, This is My Song,

Praising My Savior, All the Day Long!”