Raw Sienna & Cotton Candy

The first time my hubby and I watched “Duck Dynasty” we looked at each other in amused amazement: it was like we were watching his side of the family in their own reality TV show. The similarity between the Duck Dynasty family and my in-laws was uncanny!

My husband, Jerod, was raised to live “off the land” and “off the grid” in Star Valley, Wyoming. He grew up camping, hunting and fishing, and only traveled to the city once a year…gasp! On the contrary, I spent most weekends at North Park Mall in Dallas and had never been camping a day in my life. The first time his family took me camping, they laughed when I asked, “Umm, where are the amenities?” For them, the further away from any civilization, the better.  My idea of camping is a Holiday Inn with no swimming pool! Just kidding…kind of.  There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it, my husband’s background and mine are polar opposites. If we were crayons, he’d be “Raw Sienna” and I’d be “Cotton Candy!”

What Are You Thinking?

Every now and again Jerod needs to tap into his roots. With a true backwoodsman’s spirit, he planned a weekend retreat for 20 family members in a remote (4 wheel drive required to get there) cabin. I’m talking about the booniest of the boon docks (no cell phone service!).  By the time we arrived at this locale, our truck was coated in mud! One family member had to abandon their little car on the treacherous road because it was hopelessly stuck in the muck. As I surveyed the situation, I wondered what in the world was this husband of mine thinking?!

I could see that Jerod was eating all of this rustic revelry up with a spoon (a spoon hand whittled out of tree bark that is!). But I found myself rolling my eyes on more than one occasion. For instance, he and his brother literally had to clear a “beach” for us on the river with a machete and chainsaw, killing a snake and 2 black widow spiders!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is something in me that wants to be in charge, and desires to do things my way. Just when I was nanoseconds away from unleashing my critical opinion, this thought occurred to me:

Do I want him to succeed or not?  Then a flood of questions coursed through my psyche:

• If he makes a few mistakes (or just does things differently than I would) can I give him grace?
• Am I going to jump on the opportunity to question him, or can I support him?
• Do I want to respect him or emasculate him?
• If I had planned this endeavor, how would I feel if he was questioning and criticizing my choices?

Are we a team or not?

Wow. I needed that internal “come to Jesus meeting!” You see, I tend to forget that men really desire respect. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. So I bit my opinionated tongue and decided to act on what Ephesians 5:33 says about marriage, “Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Respect Feels Good

It felt really good to let my husband thrive in who he is, and to trust him. It felt good to root for him instead of oppose him, no matter how different his ways are than mine.

It was a fantastic weekend full of adventure and fun was had by all! Oh the memories 🙂 And I must admit: by extending respect to my husband, he was inspired to be more loving to me. Since then, we have gained a better marriage. We are one team, not two rivals competing for our own way all of the time.  He’s Raw Sienna and I’m Cotton Candy, but with God’s guidance it makes for a savory/sweet marriage.  I’ve concluded that a little mud and muck doesn’t hurt me, and my idea of walking on the wild side–eating a Ghirardelli sundae for dinner–doesn’t hurt him (bless his health nut heart) either! Instead of fighting for our own way, it’s about fighting for the other’s success. Let the love and respect flow. <3

 

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